Purpose and Hope

Ever look back at the story of your life and think about all the things you would change if you could? ...the relationship you would have avoided, the friends you should have stayed away from, the decisions that seemed so trivial at the time that change the entire course of things...

We all have, myself included. And sometimes that can bring us to a very sad place...a self pity place.

Examples of thoughts people have:
"If I hadn't had kids, maybe I would have a successful career."
"If I didn't drop out of school to marry that guy, maybe I would have graduated from college."
"If I had listened to my parents, I wouldn't had gotten caught up with the wrong crowd."
etc.

In my personal life I have been through all sorts of things. And of course, I wish that I had made better choices growing up, and that I could erase hurtful people and memories from my life. That movie 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' was such an amazing depiction of what each and everyone of us would do if we could (If you have not seen it, you should).

But here is the bottom line....I have these two amazing kids. How they got here, and what I went through in my life is pretty trivial in comparison to what I have gained.

I had my first child, Matthew, at age 20....with a boy I had no common sense enough at the time to see was completely wrong for me. Regardless, I suddenly had this amazing little person, my sweet Mattie. And I realized for the first time, that life was no longer only about me. And it forced me to grow up and change my priorities, so that I could be what this innocent little angel needed. He gave me joy, and a new outlook on life.

This child gave me PURPOSE.

5 years later, God blessed me with a little girl, my Trinity Hope. She was never supposed to be here. All the doctors said that I would never get pregnant again because I suffered from severe endometriosis. But 3 surgeries, 2 years of hormone treatments, and lots of prayer later....my miracle baby was here. I prayed and prayed and prayed for her to come into my life. And I never gave up. And her existence against all opposition, was a pure act of God...

This child showed me the definition of HOPE.

My children, Matthew Devon and Trinity Hope, are now 9 and 4 years old. In the time that I have been blessed with them, my life has not been perfect. I have faced very challenging, difficult, and hurtful people and events. But I have been able to get through each and everything thrown at me...because of the PURPOSE and HOPE I have found in my children. My perfect gifts, in an imperfect world.

I encourage you, my friends....that although things in life can be hard and unpredictable....you must find out what gives you your purpose and hope, and live for it....change for it...grow for it. I promise you, that your time will not be wasted, and you will make it through the hard times stronger than you were....better than you were.

I pray for 2012, that all of my family, friends, and loved ones would have an understanding of there own worth, that they would release the hurts of the past and enjoy each day as it comes, that they would be a blessing to others, and others would be a blessing to them, that they would be surrounded by guardian angels, that they would be content, happy, and healthy....and let no one steal their joy, that they would face challenges with strength and dignity, that they would succeed in their pursuits, that God would reveal Himself to them in creative ways, that they would be safe always, and lastly....that they would know and feel that they are loved. Bless you all this New Year. And may you all find your true purpose and hope.


Be Safe! 

Love and Light, The Kate

Remembering Rory

 (For those of you who don't already know, my friend Rory passed away suddenly this past October. And a piece of my heart is missing.) 

It's therapeutic for me to write out my feelings...Rory used to encourage it. She would read my silly poems, and say, "Yay!!....I love it!!" in her cute Rory voice. Or if I was really struggling with my emotions, she would tell me to "Write it down and get it out!" It's been just over two months. This was the month I was supposed to see her, hug her, laugh with her. And It's a really hard reality knowing that it was so close.

  

Rory, the holiday season is here now, and your birthday so soon...and God, I wish I could see you. I miss you so much, that no words bring it justice. You are in my thoughts every day, and in my heart and spirit every second.

  

Just knowing you has inspired  me everyday to be the best person I can be, to find beauty in the small things, and to love myself. 

  

You will always be my "thrift store soulmate", and God knows I can't be near the ocean without feeling you with me in a way.

  

There are not enough words to properly say everything I am feeling and want you to know about the impact you had on my life...but I found this...and it spoke volumes...

  

“I love you,

Not only for what you are,

But for what I am

When I am with you.

I love you,

Not only for what

You have made of yourself,

But for what

You are making of me.

I love you

For the part of me

That you bring out;

I love you

For putting your hand

Into my heaped-up heart

And passing over

All the foolish, weak things

That you can’t help

Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out

Into the light

All the beautiful belongings

That no one else had looked

Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you

Are helping me to make

Of the lumber of my life

Not a tavern

But a temple;

Out of the works

Of my every day

Not a reproach

But a song.

I love you

Because you have done

More than any creed

Could have done

To make me good

And more than any fate

Could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it

Without a touch,

Without a word,

Without a sign.

You have done it

By being yourself.

Perhaps that is what

Being a friend means,

After all.”

- Roy Crof

I can't take credit for that poetry...but I did write this for you Rory:

An Angle Among Us

Bright Eyes
Soft Voice
Healing Hands
Contagious Smile
Beautiful Spirit
 
So pure, selfless, and positive.
Leaving traces of light behind
Every footstep taken in this life.
 
An example to all.
An Angel among us,
Who's flight back to the heavens
Seems all too soon
To those who wish to have more moments
To hold you,
To thank you,
To soak in your radiant energy.
 
Knowing now, that although
You can not walk beside me,
You are watching over me,
And the Light you spread in this world
Continues to burn brightly
In the minds, souls, and spirits
Of all who love you.
 
Rest peacefully, my Rory,
Until we meet again,
And we dance on the beaches of Heaven
Wearing our wings together.

~ by Kate Hart-Ayars

  

You were an amazing, encouraging, compassionate, beautiful friend, Rory...and every second you and I spent together is a cherished, positive, joyful memory. Every conversation, text message, IM...not matter how trivial....are all things I think of fondly, and am appreciative for. But YOU, Rory,  are not a memory....you are a very present part of myself and my heart. And you live on through all the people that you have blessed and inspired...simply by being yourself.

  

I don't know or understand why things like this happen, but I do know that God gave this earth (no matter what the amount of time) a beautiful reflection of His goodness and beauty, through you.

  

I love you, my Rory. I know you know this. 

I got this yesterday. Your mom came with me and held my hand, like you used to do. It was the most painful tattoo out of them all, for more than one reason. And it was a tattoo I wish I never had to get. But it was an absolute honor to do so in your memory. 

Unseen Beauty

I recently spent the day in New York City....took about a million pictures of all the obvious sites that people love, but after reviewing my camera roll, I honestly loved the ones I took that were random. They are beautiful to me...and just show life, comedy, individuality, and expression in a raw way. 

My Cinderella Experience

In the past I have felt used, betrayed, beaten down, and have dealt with hopelessness and despair... to say the least...

"For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."
James 1:2-4

I like to think about the story of Cinderella, I relate to it on sooo many levels...
She was no longer loved and honored, but rejected and abused—a continual outcast in her own home, by the people who were supposed to love and take care of her.

It's one thing to be robbed and cast out, but to have to stay and serve those who robbed you is quite another. To sit and have to watch them enjoying or even mistreating things you cherish would be extremely difficult. And the longing to feel a part of the family, yet never having that longing fulfilled is like experiencing a continual wounding with no time to heal. It would force you to try anything to get them to love you. Yet, the more you would try, the more they would despise you.

Cinderella's had her dress torn to pieces, leaving her in rags. They literally and emotionally stripped her of all she knew and was in life; they left her nothing. She was stunned, emotionally numb, alone and devastated by their actions.

HOWEVER....All that was taken from her and done to her turned out to be the preparation for the fulfillment of her dreams.

She was stripped of all she knew and held dear, but we see in the end that the ill treatment she endured prepared and equipped her for her great destiny.

If you are confused and hurt as I have been, you may even feel at times abandoned by God. What often hurts the most is the continual betrayal by those who should love you, but don't. It hurts to see the hardness of other's toward you as though you don't matter. At times, you felt psychologically numb due to the actions of others. Yet, though you've been stripped, robbed or betrayed you still cling to God, because going through your own personal anguish without Him is even more unthinkable. In the midst of your desperation, you find you still have the one thing that truly matters—you still have God. And, He then, becomes your everything and you feel like the wealthiest person in the world.

Indeed, through all your trials, you are being prepared for your destiny, and it will be great. One day you will look back on this time, and see that God has used it all to prepare you for your future.

Knowing your destiny was great, He wanted you to be prepared, so you would not fall when the real test comes: the test of success.

And so He wouldn't lose you in the midst of all the blessings He longs to give you, He needed to make sure your foundation was solidly grounded in Him, that your faith was thoroughly tried.

If you find yourself in similar circumstances as mine, then know: you are truly loved by your heavenly Father, resting in the palm of His hand. Your life belongs to Him and He will see that you are ready for the untold blessings He's kept in readiness for you, anticipating your destiny. You are His beloved and favored child - you belong to Him - His special creation.

Maybe you can see images of your own life in the story of Cinderella like I do. Our story, too, takes on a new and rich purpose when we meet with God. He makes all things new, even the painful events of our past. He makes beauty from the ashes of our lives (Isaiah 61:3). So, wherever you are, surrender your ashes to Him and watch Him make something beautiful of your life.

You are ENOUGH in Christ. xo

Walk the road less traveled...

Hi there, Kate here...I wanted to share something that I found to be important for myself, and the people in my life...whether you are family, a friend, or just an aquaintance...this is equally important. It was a topic in church today and I wanted to share it and how I know it to be truth.

First I want to lay out some scripture and then I will follow it with my thoughts and what I have learned.

(Matthew 7:13-29)

13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.
14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
True and False Prophets
15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.
16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?
17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.
18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.
20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’
23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.
27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”
28 When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching,
29 because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law."


If you notice, Christ always teaches in a way that we can understand. He loves us and doesn't sugar coat anything. He flat out tells us that we always have 2 choices....one leading us toward the life we were meant to have that glorifies Him, and one that leads to destruction. Plain and clear He states that the road that leads to Him and to walking in obedience with His Word is the road less traveled...the more difficult path. It REQUIERS something of us. It demands CHANGES that are not easy or comfortable all of the time. He calls us to the harder path. It is always easier not to go our own way, but we cannot expect blessings to flow into our lives if there is a sinful foundation. We can proclaim God's Word all we want, but it holds no value and even offends God....and it does not impress Him, if our LIFE does not reflect our WORDS.

You cannot expect to start down an ungodly path and remain on it, hoping to detour to the right path later on. YOU HAVE STARTED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!! You have to turn back, and walk the opposite way down the road you have started and make things right, and change things along the way...and only then, can you find your way back to where you have started, and walk bravely down the right path. Making sure your foundation FROM THE BEGINING was solid and strong.

I personally know, that in my life everytime I started something...be it a relationship, a friendship, serious life choices, etc...that when I did things MY WAY, or according to WHAT I WANTED or thought was best, and they were not lined up with the Word of God, and obedience to Him...EVERY single thing I did FAILED. It may have failed quickly, and it may have taken years...but either way, there was no real peace, and heartache was sure to come.

Only the times that I have surrendered my needs and wants, and everything to God, have I ever been truly able to see His face, and His willingness to carry me, to love me, heal me, care for me, and protect me. And He has been faithful everytime.

God loves us. He doesn't want us to hurt. He knows that when we go our own way we are seperating ourselves from His blessings and protection. And although He states that HIS WAY can be hard, He wants us to have His promises and covering...and we can't have that if we are not following Him. The RIGHT PATH is hard because it forces us to change things we don't want to. It can cause us to sever relationships/friendships that we don't want to. It holds us accountable to someone for what we do. It causes us to die to self. And that is not easy. That is why so few choose to do it!!!!

He also gives us, in the Scripture above, an example of 2 trees. This represents the people and things we allow to influence us in our lives.

Listen, there are people, and things that appear to be what we want and need, but they can really destroy us....in many ways. A person can be seen for what they really are by the fruit that they bear. NOT by how they appear, or what they say....but their fruit. This means to take a look at WHAT THEY DO in there lives. Not to be judgemental...we are to always show kindness and be merciful because people do change (and we have all fallen short at some point), but it's important to notice what they are CURRENTLY like, so that with wisdom you can decide if they are good for you or not. You can always uphold them in prayer, and care for them....but how much influence are you going to allow them to have in your life? They can be self decieved and not even realize the wrong of their ways (genuinely thinking they are good for you), or they can be wolves in sheeps clothing....knowing fully that they are setting you up to harm you. God wants BETTER for your life. He want to protect you from these things, but if you are not making the right choices, how can He? Look for people to have in your life that do the HARD, but RIGHTEOUS thing. Not people that will lead you to compromise. Not people that use God's name, but do not reflect Him in their lives. It is FAR better to be friends with a person who does not follow God, never claiming to.....than to invest into someone who proclaims the name of God, and show nothing of Him in their life. I know that my unsaved friends have often proven truer and better than the " Christian" friends who said "JESUS" and lived for self.

I'm telling you, that my life is richly blessed because the people I have in it are REAL!!!! Whether they are Christian or not....I have been able to take a look at their heart, and their lives, and know fully that they bring positive, and good things into it. I have a very big heart...and for so long I lingered with people I loved dearly....but they were not good for me. GOD is NOT a liar. And HE knows what is best, and sometimes it is letting go. I know that I have learned the hard way several times that people you have in your life that are not good for you always leads to hurt, heartache, and drama. And in that painful reality, it taught me that God knows best, and that even through the pain He was teaching me that He had a better way, and a better plan than I could understand at the time. Letting people go is HAAAAARD, especially for me because of my nature, even when they have hurt me! BUT....when I released them, and let God have His way...I got to see what truth there was to His Word.

And it helped me realize that before I rededicated my life to Him, that I should have been concidered NOT good for some people, because the fruit in my life wasn't good either. I now desire to BE a positive influence, and HAVE positive influences in my life. And like God says, it took HARD choices, and BiG changes. But I reversed the path I was on, made the changes and started over....God's heart and love for me has been revealed in ways I never thought possible. He holds my hand every step I take...where before I was walking alone.

Do not fool yourself with your own words! Not every man who proclaims God's name is truly connected to God. It isn't what you say....it what you do that reflect whether God is truly the foundation of your life. Are you doing the will of God??? Being a believer in God is different than being a follower of God. And this effects not only you, but the people in your life....people can see your fruit. Your family, friends, children....they all observe you. And it's not what you say that they SEE. There are TALKERS and there are DOERS. Most people have the right words and answers, but that doesn't cut it. It's the intention of your heart that GOD can see. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but where is your heart?

When you fall, WHO do you run to? Every storm in your life is a gift of grace. It allows you to find out where your trust lies, and if you are grounded in Christ or not. It allows you to decide whether or not your are willing to come under the authority of Jesus in your life or not.

It's trials that remind me everyday that I want to leave this world and the people in my life with a rememberance of positive things they saw in me, that I am only able to reflect by coming under the authoirty of Christ. It's not about MY glory...it's about HIS. And for those people who were in my life while I wasn't living right, I can only reach out to make things right, and leave it in God's hands. Forgive myself and move forward. To pursue inner character formed through obedience and testing.

7:24 "Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
7:25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
7:26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
7:27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it."

What is your house built on? And when the storms of life come...are you grounded in a soild foundation?

You can fool people...but storms will come. And people will see where your foundation lies. I know this is true because I had a house built on sand and now it is built on the rock. And when trials come, God faithfully is able to sustain me, where before I was destroyed.

BELIEF IN CHRIST WORKS ITSELF OUT IN YOUR LIFE....IT PROVES ITSELF.

We will all be accountable in the end to Jesus... For He is our final judge. And His judgement will not be on works, and on words...but on our hearts, and in our reflection of Him.

It's easy to say "It's never too late to change"....but life is short and unpredicatable, and that simply isn't true. We get one life, and one chance. And we have to live with the choices we make.

I encourage you to walk the road less traveled. xx

God is Willing...

(Matthew 8:1-4)

1) When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him.
2) And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, if you will, you can make me clean."
3)And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, "I will; be clean." And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
4)And Jesus said to him, "See that you say nothing to anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a proof to them."

My pastor touched on this on Sunday. So beautiful the way that he pointed out the love of Christ for us as individuals, and challenged us to reflect that to others.

In the above story....we are hearing about a leper. Back in those days someone with that sickness was abandoned by everyone in their lives, they were told and believed that they were cursed by God, they were considered unclean and totally outcaste. They could not hide their sickness...they literally "wore it on their face". They were considered DEAD by everyone.
Jesus saw more...he saw the unseen needs of this person. He knew there was more going on inside this man than the obvious. That despite his obvious "flaws" there was inner pain and need. That the healing he was seeking was not just external, but internal.

Back in those days when you were a leper you were required by law to stay away from everyone and if someone approached you you were to identify yourself by yelling "unclean" aloud, so people could go the other way.

This leper, despite the rules and oppression of others was BOLD, and expressed Faith. He did not demand Christ to heal him, he asked Him if He would be willing. Basically saying...."Jesus, I know what I am...I am unclean, and unworthy. But I know who You are, and if you are willing to heal me...I ask you to do this because I know you are able."

See...Jesus works on the behalf of individuals. This leper was not part of the great crowd He was teaching to...he was, as lepers were, on the outskirts. Jesus had to make His way through the crowd to him. And He does that, doesn't He? Meets us exactly where we are no matter where that is? Our circumstances, our flaws, sins, or short comings don't matter....when we ask for help He makes His way to us RIGHT WHERE WE ARE...JUST AS WE ARE. He is compassionate. He cares. He IS WILLING...all we have to do is ask.

There have been many times in my personal life I remember feeling so unworthy of God's love and help. But I can tell you that in my darkest hours, with all my brokenness....He reached out and grabbed me when I needed Him the most. It just took me a long time to realize that He had always standing there....the whole time with His arms ready. He was just waiting on me.

He doesn't just see the outside failures, flaws, and imperfections that the world sees. He sees the inside of you. The inner pain, insecurities, voids, and scars. And like in the story...HE TOUCHES THE UNCLEAN THINGS that no one else would. It would have been easy to just wave His hand and heal him like a magician for all to see, but NO!!!....He reached out and laid His hands on him. Showing that He realized this leper's inner feelings of abandonment, and lack of human contact...and was able to heal him that way as well. He handled the man's needs with ACTION not words. He extended a kindness that no one else would show him. He BROUGHT HIS HEALING TO HIM. And that's what He wants to do for you...to bring you strength and use His power to change your life.

Some people are lost in the crowd. Are you someone who feels like that?? I used to be.
Jesus broke the law by touching the leper because it was making Him unclean, but when He touched the man He didn't become unclean. Jesus makes the unclean CLEAN! He heals the impossible. This story wasn't told to tell us about God's ability to heal sickness....it's so much more than that. It's a story to prove God's focus on the heart and inner needs of individual people.
He calls His followers to do what He does. He wants us to show this compassion for the "lepers" in our lives. The people we may know that no one else is willing to reach for. He loves us all. Every individual. He calls us to be like Him. We need to reflect Him...by seeing people and moving toward them, so they might feel like someone is with them and be (through our presence) shown what God is like. We are not to become like them, but to help point them in the right direction. People return where they feel welcome, seen, and paid attention to. Isn't that everyone's inner desire?

Be the evidence of God in someone's life.

x

Trash and Butterflies?

I was driving back to work from my lunch break today and I was stopped in a not so great area of town waiting for the train to pass, so I could get by. I was sitting there waiting for a good 10 minutes. The building to my left was falling apart, trash everywhere....genuinely gross. A sad sight, for sure. I was sitting there thinking to myself what a shame it was. Just as I was having that thought the prettiest butterfly flew past my car, and landed on the sidewalk full of trash next to the building. I thought what a strange place for something so beautiful to be. And then I realized, that must be how God views us. In a world so horrible and ugly.... we can be that one beautiful thing that stands out, can't we? Random....I know. Sorry.

Giving up is NOT the answer...

Ever feel like you know you are on the wrong path, but you are too fearful to do what you have to do to move on? So, you end up stuck right? You give up?...

 Listen, sometimes it take extreme things to happen to get you to get off the wrong path. Sometimes the fear of what you might lose or have to go through to get where you belong, is too intimidating....and some people never change course because of it. Listen...I had to go through HELL and have my heart ripped out of my chest and spit on by people I loved and trusted in during this process. I was broken, shattered, and nearly destroyed on the inside.....but had I not gone through these events, I would not be the changed person I am today.

  

The reality that you get ONE chance, and ONE life....and that is something you must come to grips with. 

I had wasted over a decade on men and friends that were wrong for me....that made me feel small, unworthy, ugly disposable, and worthless....and even had me convinced that those things were true, not just by their words, but their actions.  I was TIRED of crying all the time...I was tired of being afraid all the time. And the consequences I feared were no longer scary enough to hold me back....so I put my trust in God, and moved on....away from the people and places and things that I had soul-tied myself too so foolishly.

  

Three years later, I have this incredible life that I never thought was possible. I am in a relationship that reflects the LOVE that I always hoped for....I have a closer relationship with my family than I ever did before....I have invested ONLY in close friendships with people that bring positive things into my life and the life of my children. I am a better mother, and my emotions no longer cloud my ability to enjoy my children. My children ARE MY JOY.

  

I'm writing this to let you know that storms come in many forms, and sometimes the most devastating times in our lives are things that IF we handle them with grace, and faith, and trust in God, can help form us, prepare us, and mold us into the person we were meant to be....into a person that can be a witness, and help to others who are also hurting and going through their own personal hell. 

  

God is good, ALL THE TIME.

  

There are so many people in my life over the past year in particular that have had extremely heartbreaking things happen in their lives. If you are one of them, just know that this is only a season in your life. It isn't over. There is a God that loves you more than you can ever understand. He is not the cause of the bad in your life, but He is there to help you through it. Trying to get by on your own will never work.

  

I am a 29 year old mother of 2.

  

I am flawed.

  

I have OCD and PTSD.

  

In my life I have been abused, betrayed, unappreciated, belittled, judged, humiliated, and degraded.

  

I have suffered loss, failure, regret, embarrassment, and devastation.

  

THESE THINGS DO NOT DEFINE ME!

  

I am STRONG. I am BEAUTIFUL. I am SMART. I am TALENTED. I am BLESSED. I am LOVED. I am SPECIAL.

It doesn't matter what ANY human thinks of you. It only matter what Christ thinks of you. And He loves you as if you were PERFECT. He looks past all your brokenness, and sees your heart. And there is nothing He can not get you through!!!

Your life can be wonderful.

Mine is....and 3 years ago, I was ready to give up. I'm glad I didn't.

Cope with the Negative? I think not....

As a human, you must always be prepared for opposition. In particular, you must be prepared for the nay-sayers and the haters. These are the people that would love to see you fail and desire for you to fail in trying to live the life that you deserve. At times it may be unexpected people you used to truly trust to help you along on your life journey....other times it can be obvious enemies, or even people who don't know you very well at all. 

I've had moments when all I could think is "how could they do this to me; I trusted them??" or "I'll never be able to overcome people's opinions because they only see me for my past", etc.

It is a reality of human nature that is hard to understand. rather than get discouraged and defeated you can use their unbelief to spur you on. I have found that there is nothing that can encourage you to take action more than having someone show doubt in what you can do.

I have not had a perfect past....but over the years I have grown and changed so much. There are people that have seen this growth in me, people who doubt in it, people who refuse to give me a chance based on my past, and people who have embraced me as the new person that I am. So many different reactions!! Now...I could focus on the negative people that don't believe in me or give me a chance, OR I can forgive them for their judgments, and be grateful for the people in my life that have based their opinion of who I am NOW!! See...if I focus on the negative, I could wallow in self pity wishing "everyone" would like me or not think badly of me. YOU KNOW WHAT....who cares what people think about you??? Honestly? I used to worry about it...and focus on it...and it made me MISERABLE!!! I have resolved within myself to not be miserable.What a waste of time that is!!

Can I tell you....the more negative people, places, things, relationships you sever the better!! That doesn't mean you don't care about people, but if they are bringing you down, cut them loose! That doesn't mean if a loved one is going through a hard time and need you to be there for them that THEY are a negative force in your life....I mean the obvious people who judge you, make you feel bad about yourself.

I remember someone I tried reaching out to once, basically threw every mistake I've ever made in my existence in my face. Was there any truth to what they were saying about who I WAS?? Some, Yes. Absolutely. Was there any truth to what they said about who I AM? Not at all. I battled inside feelings of wanting to prove to this person that they were wrong about me. But I realized that there was no point. I still care about this person, and I wish them the best....but I don't have anything to prove to anyone. I tried to make things right. It was their choice and absolute right to not want to.

Think of people in the past that have said you can’t do something....or are not worth it....or that you will always be who you used to be, etc. Is anything that they said true?? If not, then FORGET what they said and don't focus on it...if you do you will start to believe it!  

"Once  you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results." ~Willie Nelson

God sees you as you really are. Don't doubt yourself. Stay on the good path you are on. Don't allow other people determine your worth, destiny, and character. The Bible says in Genesis as Joseph addressed his brothers: “But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good…” Turn the negativity into a positive. Overcome  all your opposition and prove them wrong.

(and yes....I just used God and Willie Nelson's wisdom at the same time)  ;)