Vindication

Let's be honest....you and I both have struggled with seeing people who have hurt us or people we consider our enemies seem like they have everything in life that they want and appear so so happy, and we struggle with that... Don't we? Struggle to see things seem so unfair. Where is their Karma, right? Why is God not punishing them for what they did?

Trust me, I know where you are coming from. But here's the thing...it's not our job to worry about them "getting what they deserve".

You have to remember that this world is a temporary place. There is a final judgement for us all.

You have to consider that appearances are not always truths. many times people wear a mask of "Happiness, joy, or having it all together", when really behind it all where no one can see there is brokenness, discontentment, and pain.

Now here is the BIG issue....
It's tempting in hearing that to feel a sense of relief and almost satisfaction that perhaps these people we consider our enemies in this world may actually be secretly miserable.

I pray you be careful with these feelings ( and I speak to myself as well here ).... Now, you are on dangerous ground. What "Karma" does it create for yourself? And bigger yet, do you think that pleases God?

You have to know deep down that these people, whatever hurtful roll they have played in the story of your life were not born the way they are. Hurt people HURT people. And whatever negative, despicable, inexcusable things they may have put you through and done to you... Something has happened to make them that way.

Again, that makes no justification or excuses for whatever it is they have done (criminals belong in jail, etc) but as a way to keep yourself healthy and without sin, you must realize that finding joy in others misery is never good. You can be content in justice without dirtying your heart.

Praying for your enemies seems like an impossibly. I know this for a fact. I have told God Himself that it was too much to ask of me... But I found after time and effort that it became easier, and that with it came a sense of peace.

See, it's not even really about the other person. You can't change them. But letting go of the hate, resentment, and animosity... Will change you. You will be able to focus on your own life and blessing without being overshadowed with thoughts and worries about them.

Know inside, that no matter what.... We all stand before a final judge, and in the end God will hold them accountable for what they have done to you. Find peace with that, and keep your heart right. You are being watched too.

Allow yourself the freedom of moving on. God is your vindicator.

Love and light,
The Kate

Love Knows No Boundaries

For the past few days the Lord set something upon my heart to share with 2 sets of people in my life.

1) Those who are hurting and walking through a painful place right now.(Sickness, loss, unemployment, the death of a loved one, the betrayal of afriend, the ending of a relationship, etc.)

2) Those who feel that they are not, or can not be loved by God.(feeling unworthy, feeling not good enough, has opposed God in the past, wastold by someone that God doesn’t love them, etc.)

I want to really address the love, mercy, and compassion of God with you today. Having sat under the teaching of my pastor recently, and already having this desire to write about it, I feel the time is now….

* JESUS IS POWERFULLY COMPASSIONATE TOWARD PEOPLE THAT HAVE OPPOSED HIMOR CALLED HIM THEIR ENEMY*

*JESUS HAS COMPASSION FOR THOSE WHO FEEL THEIR FAILURES DISQUALIFY THEMFROM MERCY*

*JESUS HAS COMPASSION FOR EVERYONE THAT HAS BEEN LABELED AN “OUTSIDER” *

*JESUS LOVES THE BROKEN AND HURTING*

I want to share a story from the book of Matthew Chapter 15 (feel freeto read the actual text in the Bible):

An “unworthy” Canaanite woman, despite the godlessness of her people andlow status, boldly came to Jesus acknowledging Him as Lord, and begging for Himto have mercy on her and her daughter who needed healing. She compared herself toa dog, stating that she knew that she was not like the worthy people who ate atthe table, but a dog that would gratefully take a crumb that fell on the floor,if He would be so kind to offer it to her. Jesus saw and praised this woman’sgreat humbleness and faith, and because of this, He healed her daughter.

My, friends, I really want to encourage you to not exclude yourselffrom the love and mercy of God. We are ALL undeserving. Yes, there are alwaysconsequences for our bad actions, and there will always be pain in thisimperfect world…but hear me when I tell you that NOBODY is outside of thecircle of God’s love. NOBODY! Consequences of our mistakes can be MANY things,but they NEVER include losing God’s love.

 And if someone has ever told youthat the bad things that have happened in your life is a result of Godpunishing you, or that God doesn’t love because you are a certain race orsexuality (gay), or that the things you have done in your life are unforgivable...THEYARE WRONG!

NOTHING CAN SEPARATE YOU FROM THE LOVE OF JESUS!

I don’t care who has told you otherwise….”Christian” or not. If theyare telling you that God doesn’t love you because of ___________...then theydon’t really know who

Jesus is.

“The single greatest cause of Atheism in the world today is Christians,who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, and then walk out the door and deny Himby their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”

There are 2 types of people in the world. That’s it…just 2…

1) People who are obviously screwed up.

2) People who are just as screwed up, but hide it well.

It is not “us” against “them”….we are all the same.

God alone is our judge. And as you establish a relationship with Him,and study His word, HE alone will convict you of any changes you need to make,and He will help you make them. As you start to understand Jesus, your heartwill open more, and you will find your compassion for other people will alsogrow.

I know many of you wonder (as have I in the past)…If Jesus is compassionate,why is my life this way and why do bad things happen? You cannot look at thecircumstances of your life and judge God’s love for you.

I know that this planet and this life can be painful and hard….trustme, I do…

And none of it seems fair. I know that I can’t say I know what it islike to walk a mile in your shoes, but I do know pain.  I want you to find comfort in the fact thatthis is not our HOME…this is a temporary place, and in the end, God will makeall things new. He is FOR YOU!

Heaven awaits those who believe, and there, there is no more painand no more suffering…only joy, peace, and happiness.

See, God loved you so much that he took all the punishment, andsuffering that we as sinners deserve…and He placed it all on Jesus, so thatinstead, we could receive the mercy and love that Jesus deserves. Jesus tookOUR place. That is how much He loves you!!!! God has such amazing compassionfor us, otherwise…He would have never sent Jesus to die for us.

Giving our heart to Him does not require our perfection….just ourwillingness. He is there to forgive us, and help us get up when we fall.

There is a song called ‘What if I Stumble’…

“What is I stumble, what if I fall?

What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue when the walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

Lord, I hear you whispering my name (You say…)

My love for you will NEVER change”

What I wanted mostly to do today is leave you with a feeling and knowledgeof how truly loved you are by God…just as you are….through yourpain, and though your mistakes…and NOTHING can change that. Not even yourejecting Him.

And if you are going through a storm in your life right now and arehurting, I promise that allowing God into your life, will comfort you in waysyou never thought possible. Let Him love you through this.

“Everyone needs compassion

A love that’s never failing

Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness

The kindness of a Savior

The hope of nations

So take me as you find me

All of my fears and failures

Fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in

Now I surrender”

If anyone wishes to discuss any of this further with me, feel free toinbox me on Facebook or you can email me at that_kate@yahoo.com

The Condition of Your Heart

Hey guys. I wanted to use some stuff that my Pastor spoke on today and share my personal experience in it's truth. I'm going to lay out some scripture, and take it from there.

^{Matthew 13:1-8 NIV (The Parable of the Seeds)}

¹ That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 

² Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 

³ Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 

⁴ As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 

⁵ Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 

⁶ But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 

⁷ Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 

⁸ Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 

Jesus was using this Parable to describe our hearts, and the condition that they can be in at any given time. 

1) A HARD GROUND-SHUT HEART.

^{Matthew 13:19} "When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart." 

This is the type of heart that people have who find God irrelevant. They do not allow the truth of the Lord to get inside. They put up a wall, and reject Him. They can have a negative idea of God, or anger toward Him.They have no intention whatsoever of following Him. They don't have room in their lives, minds or hearts to let Him in. They don't care anything about God, or whether He is real or not. They can not absorb any truth being shown to them. 

Have you ever been in a situation where you were trying to make a friend or get to know someone that had absolutely zero interest in you? And no matter how many times you tried to be kind that person or go out of your way for them, they pretty much treated you like you didn't exist? Maybe you have never done anything wrong to this person, but they were determined that their life just had no room in it for you. I know I have....and the rejection can be painful. But see, they have hardness in their hearts.

In the same way, God loves and seeks out every person. He loves, is interested in, and wants a relationship with us all so badly. But there is no room for Him in the lives of those who's heart has been shut. And like the seeds that have fallen on the path (or roadside)....the truth can only touch the surface, but is quickly lost.

2) A SHALLOW GROUND-SHALLOW HEART.

^{Matthew 13:20} "The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. ²¹ But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away."

People with this type of heart are often open and receptive to truth initially. They "flirt" with idea of Jesus and following Him. But they have no true commitment. When testing comes, and things get a little hard...they bail. They only want to have a relationship with God if everything is always good and they way that they want it be. Like God is Santa Clause, and only good to believe in if they get everything they want all the time. And if anything He asks of them becomes challenging or outside of their comfort zone, they quit. And they go from having a shallow heart to having a hard heart.

Did I not just describe a relationship or friendship you have ever had that involved someone selfish (all take and no give)?? How successful are those type of relationships? See...God wants to bless us, and He does willingly...but in our relationship with Him we are required to be obedient to His word, and sometimes that can place us in a position of vulnerability, where we have to trust Him even if things are not going a way that we like.  But often times, people find that concept too scary, and wind up rejecting God in the end, because they find more safety in continue what works best for them. 

They are just like seeds that fall on the shallow ground...absorbing the truth and blooming quickly, but when heat or "trials" come...they are not rooted deep enough, and whither away quickly.

3) A CHOKED GROUND -INHOSPITABLE HEART.

^{Matthew 13:22} "The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful."

These are people who's hearts are cluttered, occupied, and have no vacancy. Their priorities do not include God. They are focused on things that bring them pleasure , and happiness...and reject a relationship with God because they feel like allowing Him in will mean they have to give up things that matter to them. They are only interested in God if He doesn't "mess with" whats good or important to them. They have limitations to the relationship they are willing to have. They put conditions on God, and they make Him a superficial thing. And if He doesn't fit into the mold they have, their hearts grow hard. 

And like the seeds that fall among the thorns, they choke out the truth of the Lord with their own two hands.

4) GOOD GROUND-CHANGED/RECEPTIVE HEART.

^{Matthew 13:23} "But the seed falling on good soil refers to someone who hears the word and understands it. This is the one who produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”

Theses are the people who's hearts are open, and prepared. Who absorb the truth of the Lord deep down inside, and allow their relationship with Him to be so important, and deep rooted in their hearts, that their is no storm that can kill it, not trial that can whither it, no priority that can overshadow and choke it out. These are the heart that the people of God have that will bear fruit, not only in their own lives, but in the lives of others as a blessing. They allow God to work in and through them...and plant seeds wherever they go. You see the evidence of God in their lives. And others are impacted by God through them.

The condition of your heart determines your path in this life.  

"One should bear all hardship so as to be prepared for the test of ease"

I hope, my friends that you look at yourself, as I have today...recognize the type of heart you have vs the type of heart you want. God promises that those who root themselves deep in relationship with Him, will have blessings, courage, strength, and Heaven in their present and future. 

I hope you make room in your hearts for Him.

Love and Light,

Kate

Purpose and Hope

Ever look back at the story of your life and think about all the things you would change if you could? ...the relationship you would have avoided, the friends you should have stayed away from, the decisions that seemed so trivial at the time that change the entire course of things...

We all have, myself included. And sometimes that can bring us to a very sad place...a self pity place.

Examples of thoughts people have:
"If I hadn't had kids, maybe I would have a successful career."
"If I didn't drop out of school to marry that guy, maybe I would have graduated from college."
"If I had listened to my parents, I wouldn't had gotten caught up with the wrong crowd."
etc.

In my personal life I have been through all sorts of things. And of course, I wish that I had made better choices growing up, and that I could erase hurtful people and memories from my life. That movie 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' was such an amazing depiction of what each and everyone of us would do if we could (If you have not seen it, you should).

But here is the bottom line....I have these two amazing kids. How they got here, and what I went through in my life is pretty trivial in comparison to what I have gained.

I had my first child, Matthew, at age 20....with a boy I had no common sense enough at the time to see was completely wrong for me. Regardless, I suddenly had this amazing little person, my sweet Mattie. And I realized for the first time, that life was no longer only about me. And it forced me to grow up and change my priorities, so that I could be what this innocent little angel needed. He gave me joy, and a new outlook on life.

This child gave me PURPOSE.

5 years later, God blessed me with a little girl, my Trinity Hope. She was never supposed to be here. All the doctors said that I would never get pregnant again because I suffered from severe endometriosis. But 3 surgeries, 2 years of hormone treatments, and lots of prayer later....my miracle baby was here. I prayed and prayed and prayed for her to come into my life. And I never gave up. And her existence against all opposition, was a pure act of God...

This child showed me the definition of HOPE.

My children, Matthew Devon and Trinity Hope, are now 9 and 4 years old. In the time that I have been blessed with them, my life has not been perfect. I have faced very challenging, difficult, and hurtful people and events. But I have been able to get through each and everything thrown at me...because of the PURPOSE and HOPE I have found in my children. My perfect gifts, in an imperfect world.

I encourage you, my friends....that although things in life can be hard and unpredictable....you must find out what gives you your purpose and hope, and live for it....change for it...grow for it. I promise you, that your time will not be wasted, and you will make it through the hard times stronger than you were....better than you were.

I pray for 2012, that all of my family, friends, and loved ones would have an understanding of there own worth, that they would release the hurts of the past and enjoy each day as it comes, that they would be a blessing to others, and others would be a blessing to them, that they would be surrounded by guardian angels, that they would be content, happy, and healthy....and let no one steal their joy, that they would face challenges with strength and dignity, that they would succeed in their pursuits, that God would reveal Himself to them in creative ways, that they would be safe always, and lastly....that they would know and feel that they are loved. Bless you all this New Year. And may you all find your true purpose and hope.


Be Safe! 

Love and Light, The Kate

Remembering Rory

 (For those of you who don't already know, my friend Rory passed away suddenly this past October. And a piece of my heart is missing.) 

It's therapeutic for me to write out my feelings...Rory used to encourage it. She would read my silly poems, and say, "Yay!!....I love it!!" in her cute Rory voice. Or if I was really struggling with my emotions, she would tell me to "Write it down and get it out!" It's been just over two months. This was the month I was supposed to see her, hug her, laugh with her. And It's a really hard reality knowing that it was so close.

  

Rory, the holiday season is here now, and your birthday so soon...and God, I wish I could see you. I miss you so much, that no words bring it justice. You are in my thoughts every day, and in my heart and spirit every second.

  

Just knowing you has inspired  me everyday to be the best person I can be, to find beauty in the small things, and to love myself. 

  

You will always be my "thrift store soulmate", and God knows I can't be near the ocean without feeling you with me in a way.

  

There are not enough words to properly say everything I am feeling and want you to know about the impact you had on my life...but I found this...and it spoke volumes...

  

“I love you,

Not only for what you are,

But for what I am

When I am with you.

I love you,

Not only for what

You have made of yourself,

But for what

You are making of me.

I love you

For the part of me

That you bring out;

I love you

For putting your hand

Into my heaped-up heart

And passing over

All the foolish, weak things

That you can’t help

Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out

Into the light

All the beautiful belongings

That no one else had looked

Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you

Are helping me to make

Of the lumber of my life

Not a tavern

But a temple;

Out of the works

Of my every day

Not a reproach

But a song.

I love you

Because you have done

More than any creed

Could have done

To make me good

And more than any fate

Could have done

To make me happy.

You have done it

Without a touch,

Without a word,

Without a sign.

You have done it

By being yourself.

Perhaps that is what

Being a friend means,

After all.”

- Roy Crof

I can't take credit for that poetry...but I did write this for you Rory:

An Angle Among Us

Bright Eyes
Soft Voice
Healing Hands
Contagious Smile
Beautiful Spirit
 
So pure, selfless, and positive.
Leaving traces of light behind
Every footstep taken in this life.
 
An example to all.
An Angel among us,
Who's flight back to the heavens
Seems all too soon
To those who wish to have more moments
To hold you,
To thank you,
To soak in your radiant energy.
 
Knowing now, that although
You can not walk beside me,
You are watching over me,
And the Light you spread in this world
Continues to burn brightly
In the minds, souls, and spirits
Of all who love you.
 
Rest peacefully, my Rory,
Until we meet again,
And we dance on the beaches of Heaven
Wearing our wings together.

~ by Kate Hart-Ayars

  

You were an amazing, encouraging, compassionate, beautiful friend, Rory...and every second you and I spent together is a cherished, positive, joyful memory. Every conversation, text message, IM...not matter how trivial....are all things I think of fondly, and am appreciative for. But YOU, Rory,  are not a memory....you are a very present part of myself and my heart. And you live on through all the people that you have blessed and inspired...simply by being yourself.

  

I don't know or understand why things like this happen, but I do know that God gave this earth (no matter what the amount of time) a beautiful reflection of His goodness and beauty, through you.

  

I love you, my Rory. I know you know this. 

I got this yesterday. Your mom came with me and held my hand, like you used to do. It was the most painful tattoo out of them all, for more than one reason. And it was a tattoo I wish I never had to get. But it was an absolute honor to do so in your memory. 

Unseen Beauty

I recently spent the day in New York City....took about a million pictures of all the obvious sites that people love, but after reviewing my camera roll, I honestly loved the ones I took that were random. They are beautiful to me...and just show life, comedy, individuality, and expression in a raw way. 

My Cinderella Experience

In the past I have felt used, betrayed, beaten down, and have dealt with hopelessness and despair... to say the least...

"For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."
James 1:2-4

I like to think about the story of Cinderella, I relate to it on sooo many levels...
She was no longer loved and honored, but rejected and abused—a continual outcast in her own home, by the people who were supposed to love and take care of her.

It's one thing to be robbed and cast out, but to have to stay and serve those who robbed you is quite another. To sit and have to watch them enjoying or even mistreating things you cherish would be extremely difficult. And the longing to feel a part of the family, yet never having that longing fulfilled is like experiencing a continual wounding with no time to heal. It would force you to try anything to get them to love you. Yet, the more you would try, the more they would despise you.

Cinderella's had her dress torn to pieces, leaving her in rags. They literally and emotionally stripped her of all she knew and was in life; they left her nothing. She was stunned, emotionally numb, alone and devastated by their actions.

HOWEVER....All that was taken from her and done to her turned out to be the preparation for the fulfillment of her dreams.

She was stripped of all she knew and held dear, but we see in the end that the ill treatment she endured prepared and equipped her for her great destiny.

If you are confused and hurt as I have been, you may even feel at times abandoned by God. What often hurts the most is the continual betrayal by those who should love you, but don't. It hurts to see the hardness of other's toward you as though you don't matter. At times, you felt psychologically numb due to the actions of others. Yet, though you've been stripped, robbed or betrayed you still cling to God, because going through your own personal anguish without Him is even more unthinkable. In the midst of your desperation, you find you still have the one thing that truly matters—you still have God. And, He then, becomes your everything and you feel like the wealthiest person in the world.

Indeed, through all your trials, you are being prepared for your destiny, and it will be great. One day you will look back on this time, and see that God has used it all to prepare you for your future.

Knowing your destiny was great, He wanted you to be prepared, so you would not fall when the real test comes: the test of success.

And so He wouldn't lose you in the midst of all the blessings He longs to give you, He needed to make sure your foundation was solidly grounded in Him, that your faith was thoroughly tried.

If you find yourself in similar circumstances as mine, then know: you are truly loved by your heavenly Father, resting in the palm of His hand. Your life belongs to Him and He will see that you are ready for the untold blessings He's kept in readiness for you, anticipating your destiny. You are His beloved and favored child - you belong to Him - His special creation.

Maybe you can see images of your own life in the story of Cinderella like I do. Our story, too, takes on a new and rich purpose when we meet with God. He makes all things new, even the painful events of our past. He makes beauty from the ashes of our lives (Isaiah 61:3). So, wherever you are, surrender your ashes to Him and watch Him make something beautiful of your life.

You are ENOUGH in Christ. xo