Walking Out of Darkness (Part 2)

Now that the clouds are parting...

My focus and life is going to be changing, and I'm so excited for it. 

My desire and pursuit of God has elevated to the highest it has ever been. My intention is to chase after Him and His will for my life. I will discover, and listen and learn.  

I will no longer allow the stress and weight of life to distract me from enjoying my children to the fullest. They are my whole world and I am going to continue to do everything in my power to provide for them, and protect them, and raise them to be people of integrity. This is my greatest responsibility and greatest honor.

It seems to me that my whole life I have invested so much of my time and energy into relationships and friendships with individuals that are toxic for me. NO MORE! My job is to leave each person I encounter with something positive if possible, however...that doesn't mean that "just anybody" is supposed to be in my life in a significant way. I am going to be choosing wisely whom I allow close. 

I want to, now more than ever, really spend quality time with and learn more about my family and true friends. I want them to feel my love, interest, concern, and heart for them...leaving them with no doubt of my loyalty and care. 

I'm going to really embrace the solitude that I am now faced with. I've never done it before. But I deserve to pay attention to myself. 

I am going to pursue my interests, talents, and hobbies. 

I'm going to dance and get lost in the music.

I'm going to express my emotions in a form I never have before...which is painting.

I'm going to surf and swim in the ocean as often as I can.

I'm going to read all the books on my list.

I'm going to rebuild my vinyl collection. 

I'm going to go to the movies by myself.

I'm going to take day trips to NYC at least once a season. 

I'm going to take long walks and long naps.

I'm going to eat and cook amazing, healthy foods. 

I'm going to volunteer more. 

I'm going to start writing my book. 

I'm going to listen to and watch amazing artists perform amazing music live, at every opportunity.

( Those ^ are all things I already do, but intend to do now, with more passion and frequency.)

Lastly, I'm going to travel a lot more. I have traveled many places in my life time, but I want to experience so many more places, cultures, and people...and I'm not going to be held back from it. I have  already set time lines and goals for myself. 

This coming year, I will be going to Seattle to spend time with friends and California for a celebration of  two people I love. 

In 2014 I am traveling to Indonesia with a friend to experience the culture, wildlife, and spirituality of Bali. 

In 2015 I will take the kids to Disney world and celebrate our family with fun and adventure :)

In 2016 I will go to Italy to learn the language, taste the cuisine, and drink the wine. 

In 2017 I will return to Arizona and revisit the Navajo people and re-explore the beauty and spirit of the desert. 

And in 2018, I will go to Ireland and have potatoes and beer for breakfast everyday!!

These are things I have always wanted to do and adventures I have wanted to take, and I WILL do them all! 

I refuse to be a victim of circumstance, and miss out on life because I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself. It's not going down like that!!!

I pray that you all find a love for yourselves, as I have, that will help carry you above your pain and your circumstances. Hang on. The darkness will pass. Walk toward the light, no matter how far away it seems.

“I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Love to you. 

TheKate